Saturday, March 31, 2012

the sun always rises

sunrises are not created the same, they are all so easily different, even on the same day...just depends from where one watches the sun come up and sometimes as the sun rises there's a sudden warmness that illuminates and gently touches the face, as with a hand...enjoy your sunrise, where ever you might be...... one of my sun rise pics 

Friday, March 30, 2012


what is lucky for my son is that he has 2 parents present in his life that love him and encourage him in his dreams whatever they may be at the time. from his father he can trace his ancestors far, to King Kamehameha and some Moloka'i princess but the type of ancestors is not the point here, just that he is able to trace back far. he has roots and they are solid, deep and strong, on his fathers side. 

i have no roots. i have no father and my mother is gone. i was born in one country, raised in another and live in a location far from where i grew up and far from my immediate family. there's talk about a great grand father that was a judge from Spain and a grandfather that gambled and played polo. i say that there's Mayan blood in my family, how could there not be, i spoke Mayan as a child and the blood is all mixed up in those countries. from my side his roots are words and thoughts, so light that they can easily be blown away like a birthday candle extinguished on a cake.

sometimes i long for roots so i can be known, so my spirit and accomplishments could be recognized. maybe that is why i live in a small beach town because it's a place where people know your name. sometimes i wonder if all my moving around as a child and not having a solid ground contributed to my fear of getting close to someone in a relationship although that's the thing i long for the most, to be close and accepted despite all my silly faults and a quick temper that easily settles to a puff of sweet smoke. 

other times however i'm alright because i feel something of a global citizen, didn't we all derive from the same place in Africa after all and what is all this silly business about drawing invisible lines on the Earth and water. i love all people and all countries, i think. but what is really lucky for me is that my son provides some stability in my half of the time nomadic soul and some of the time longing soul.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

what a mood I'm in..

there's this tempest in my heart, in my body right now and it's swirling, turning, lashing out in pain at times and anger at other times and I don't want to feel it.. I don't want to fuel it, I just want to laugh at it and shake my head and say "silly little tempest, it's alright, it's all right" and I will hug it as it begins to move slower, until it slows and dissipates and I'm left there holding just myself....

the song just seems to fit in with the mood..

Sunday, March 25, 2012

and so...

    And so here I am, again attempting to keep a blog. I have noticed that I am the type of person that can't keep to something for awhile, not like A.D.D just, my addiction to things is not strong suppose. I can stay at a place for employment for a long time and I can have relationships for a long time as well but as far as having an addictive gene, well it seems I don't have one. Or it could be that I'm just very interested in evolving to the next thing a supposed activity brings to me. However, that doesn't mean I don't enjoy whatever it is I am doing at that moment, like blogging or photography.

   Since I was last here blogging a lot has happened to me and one very important thing that has changed me is photography! I have come to really love it and see things in with a different sight. I do have an Olympus point and shoot but my iphone is actually responsible for really introducing me to my new love and instagram, an app I have been using every day. The above photo is an iphone macro shot of a rain drop after hiking in the tropical lushness of the island.